He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
