I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
