Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
