Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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