Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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