life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
