Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
