I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
