My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
