i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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