how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
