these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
