you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
high people should be assigned attendants
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
