i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
