her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize