is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize