I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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