They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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