ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
