I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
