I'm really into asian looking animals
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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