i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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