Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize