he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
