I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
