I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
