id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
