I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
