This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this will be a night to untag.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize