I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
bring money and cleavage
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
