Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
