Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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