I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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