he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
