im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
