whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
