i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
