i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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