Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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