I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
