Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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