Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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