I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
