you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
