im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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