just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize