So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
