Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
