you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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