so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
