About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
