It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize