I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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