be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
