Plan B is the new Plan A
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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