I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
