i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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