im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize