at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so let's talk penis.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
