So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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