I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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